Tag: Contentment

Contentment in Consumerism World

What Boots Taught Me about Comparison, Contentment, and Identity

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One of the main themes I hope to speak into through this blog is the root, or “heart reasons” behind our spending habits. When we were living on a tight budget to pay off our loans, Drew and I each had $20/month for individual “fun money.” That doesn’t go very far when you think about getting coffee with a friend, dinner, wanting a new top, etc.

Blog: boots

We primarily bought new clothes when we had a “need” vs. a “want.” When I needed a coat or work shoes, these types of scenarios. The same principle of not buying many “wants” applied to home decorations, furniture, entertainment, etc. The result of this was frequent thoughts of comparison and/or feeling insecure. I’d feel frumpy if I was wearing the same thing a lot or something felt a little dated.

By God’s grace, I found by praying through the root cause of my feelings (i.e. unhealthy comparison, placing my identity in things or acceptance, etc.), I’d often come away refreshed and no longer desiring the “want” that left me feeling like “woe is me.”

This process went something like this:

  • I’d compare my outfit to someone else and feel frumpy or “less than”
  • I’d immediately feel sorry for myself or want to rush to the store to fix the emotion
  • When I’d pray through the scenario, by God’s grace, I’d feel refreshed and realize my outfit was just fine; the root was comparison and it was stealing my joy
  • Suddenly I cared a lot less about whatever it was that took over my mind and emotions moments ago

 

There’s a difference in truly “needing” to replace something that’s worn out, and just a fleeting emotion that makes you feel like you must replace it. Most the time mine was the latter.

My hope in this blog is to encourage us to fight for contentment. To take our fleeting thoughts captive and make them obedient to Christ. It can be challenging to know how to take each thought obedient to Christ. After all, where in the Bible does it say how and when to shop, right? But when we slow down, pray through the root/heart cause of our emotions, and remind ourselves of biblical truth, I think this allows us to “take every thought captive to obey Christ” (2 Cor. 10:3-6).

I can say 9 times out of 10, my thoughts were fleeting and due to unhealthy comparison.

 

To provide a personal example, I’ll share my “boot story.”

Let’s walk down memory lane to Christmas, 2014. I actually needed a pair of boots and had my eyes on a pair of dark brown, combat style boots.  Our family’s are very generous gift-givers, so I waited for Christmas to roll around to get them. After all, my $20/month wouldn’t go far when buying good quality boots. I received a gift card that covered the cost of the boots and was super excited to wear my new shoes. They were all leather and would probably last several more years.

Fast forward to Christmas 2015. This year I had my eye on the new booties that everyone was wearing: light-brown, cute ankle boots. The problem was my other boots were in great shape. All of a sudden, I was focused on the new style and discontent.

Long story short, God helped we pray through the root causes of my heart and pursue contentment and gratitude for what I had. By the time Christmas came around and I had gift cards, I no longer desired the other boots. They would have been a nice treat, but I was kind of “over it” by Christmas.

In practical ways, I knew there would be a different style out the next year, and the next. Once my heart was in a better place, I don’t think it would’ve been wrong for me to buy the booties, I just didn’t really desire them anymore. My other boots also served as a “heart cleanser” because I was reminded each time I wore them of how much I have to be grateful for, especially in light of all the needs around me. Lastly, I actually love my boots. They’re totally me (when I’m content)!

Although our budget isn’t as tight, today, the lessons from this story still apply. Do I race to the store every time someone at work has a nice outfit? When my shoes don’t feel “enough”? When I visit someone else’s home and suddenly I’m discontent with my own?

If I take these thoughts captive, more often than not, I’m content with where I am and what I have. I do refresh my wardrobe and we do decorate our home, but I think it’s done in a much healthier fashion (no pun intended) when my identity is in Christ and not opinions of others.

Wherever you are in your finances, I hope this post encourages and gives you ammo to fight the battles of your heart and mind. I’m so grateful for the season of a tight budget, as it taught me to appreciate what I have and realize we really don’t need much to be content.

#NotOfThisWorld

#WhereYourTreasureIs #ThereWillYourHeartBeAlso

 

OK, enough hashtag shenanigans.

 

Peace and love!

 

Emily

Faith and Financial Resources

Fall Shopping Spree: Refreshing My Wardrobe to the Glory of God

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I woke up a couple weekends ago thinking about shopping with a desire to refresh my wardrobe…a wardrobe that had been a little neglected with us being on a tight budget for several years. And let’s be real, I’ve always been pretty frugal so sometimes I realize I’m wearing stuff I’ve had for a looong time.

wardrobe.b

So anyway, Drew was a good sport and went with me to the outlets. I went “prayed up” because I often get a bit overwhelmed working through wanting to be a good steward and not being materialistic or getting caught up in consumerism while also wanting some freedom in enjoying feeling cute and being relevant.

It was somewhat easier when we were on a tighter budget than having more resources, now. Before, I had a set budget and followed pretty closely. Now, I have an abundance (compared to before) and I’m wrestling through being free in Christ and not a slave to my own man-made rules (what I tend to lean towards when wanting to know the “right” amount to spend; this can be legalistic for sure).

I often wrestle through “two sides of the ditch” between thoughts rooted in materialism versus asceticism.

Materialism: “ excessively concerned with physical comforts or the acquisition of wealth and material possessions, rather than with spiritual, intellectual, or cultural values.”

Asceticism: “the doctrine that a person can attain a high spiritual and moral state by practicing self-denial, self-mortification, and the like.”

Source

These definitions are extreme, but I definitely see myself get stuck in some way between the two. I think it’s healthy to fight materialism and not find our identity in stuff, image, success, approval, etc. I think it’s equally important not to swing the pendulum the opposite way of thinking you can’t enjoy good things.

While shopping that day, I got stuck at times, possibly trying to have the “perfect formula” for how much to spend. I kept praying for God to give me wisdom and freedom in Him.

By the end of the weekend, I felt pretty free and good about the decisions I’d made. Ultimately, resting in God’s grace. I think seeking to be a good steward, pushing back against consumerism, and wanting to be relevant is a life-long journey of prayer and asking God to guide me. This is a much better route than creating rules for myself and thinking I’ve got it figured out.

My ultimate desire is to be lead by the Holy Spirit, to keep searching the motives of my heart,  pursue freedom, and aim to glorify God in the way I live (yes, even in shopping!). By doing this, I’m finding freedom “getting out of the ditch” on either side. It’s a continual process with conviction and grace along the way.

I’m so thankful I’m no longer a slave to the law, but free in Jesus. ❤

As a bonus, here’s some practical tips I often process before shopping:

  • Intent: Who am I trying to please? Is this to enjoy with pure motives or is it rooted in envy, pleasing people, pressure of what you’re “supposed to do”?
  • Priorities: does this align and/or support my priories?
  • Budget: does this fit within budget?
  • Eternity: how much do I want to acquire on earth? How much money am I willing to spend on outward appearance? Personally I like to keep it simple, pursuing the benefits of margin.

Hope this is helpful insight into what I work through. Your priorities and convictions may be completely different. The biggest point I want to make is the importance of seeking to honor God with our resources and asking Him to guide us.

Can you relate? How do you work through wanting to honor God in the way you use your resources while wanting to be relevant and enjoy things? Comment below.

 

.Em

Practical Budgeting Tips

Should We Upgrade Our Vehicle?

emiflet2 Comments

For the past year or so, Drew and I have considered upgrading my 2003 Camry for a newer CRV. With other finance goals in mind, we’ve been thinking through if buying a newer vehicle is a good decision for us, currently.

Here’s some of the things we’ve worked through:   vehicle

Pros (reasons to buy a newer vehicle):

  • The excitement of a “new car” and liking the look of a CRV
  • This would be a great road trip vehicle and sweet for camping
  • I’d like to trade my car in before we have to put a lot of money into fixing it

Cons (reasons to wait):

  • Vehicles are not an investment, they only lose value
  • I primarily drive my car to and from work, park it all day, and drive home
  • Seems silly to pay ~$12k to park a car all day
  • While some days my wanting a CRV is really just because I like the look of it, many times it’s rooted in pride; pride in feeling good in what I drive, that I paid cash for a nicer vehicle, etc. (the ugly stuff in my heart)
  • We could invest the $12k-13k, instead
  • It’s currently just Drew and me, so I don’t “need” a bigger car
  • I’m hesitant to make such an expensive purchase based on “want” vs. “need,” especially in light of all the ways we could use the money
  • The Camry has been a great car and huge blessing; it’s needed minimal repairs, gets great gas mileage, and has provided sweet memories (the first car I’ve ever purchased and what we’ve had since getting married)

After thinking through the points, above, we plan to keep the Camry and hold off on upgrading. If major things begin to break, we’ll probably reconsider. Personally, I’d only be buying it for a “want” and not a “need” and, for now, it doesn’t seem best to put $12-13k into a vehicle to replace a car that’s been such a blessing.

Additionally, with us not saving for retirement or investing while we paid off our loans, our goal is to “make up for it” now by building up those accounts. We also want to pay 20% down for a home, save for vacations, and other goals.

This conclusion may change tomorrow, but it seems like the best decision for us today.

I hope this post provides encouraging perspective. Perspective to pray through the motives of our heart and use wisdom, reason, and a vision for our life, instead of just thinking about what we want. If we can pursue contentment in what we have and take captive thoughts of wanting the “next thing,” I think making wise purchases gets a whole lot easier.

You may be in a different place today where buying a newer vehicle is a good decision. In all circumstances, however, I encourage you to filter your decision(s) through similar thoughts; pursuing contentment and perspective before making the purchase, and being open to waiting if it seems best. All the while, asking God to reveal the motives of your heart (and this is so freeing! <3).

In a culture where consumerism, comparison, and discontentment run rampant, we need to be prepared to push back. Are you with me?!

❤

Em

Practical Budgeting Tips

“Living Forward” Creating a Life Plan to Transform Your Finances

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I recently started reading Living Forward by Michael Hyatt and Daniel Harkavy. The premise is creating a “life plan” based on the legacy you want to leave, along with a tactical strategy you’ll implement to pursue your vision. The author’s ask you to imagine your funeral and what would be said about you. If you don’t think where you are today will lead to the legacy you want to leave, the goals you make in between the gap are what you’ll pursue through your life plan.

living forward. blog

This concept was essentially my motivation to pay off our loans ASAP, looking into the future and making a plan to achieve the desired result.

When Drew and I got engaged, we began discussing the type of future we’d like, starting a family, personal goals, etc. We knew paying $986/month would be a hindrance, in general, and we didn’t want to live with that weight for the next 20+ years. We knew it would largely play into many decisions we would make and trap us down.

*photo credit

So we created a vision for our money (like a short-term life plan). The end goal was to pay off our debt before having kids. This led us to a goal of being debt free within 2-3 years.

We knew the starting point ($76k of debt) and where we wanted to go (debt-free within 2-3 years).

Next, similar to the advice from Living Forward, we needed to fill in the gap with a tactical plan (how we’d attempt to pay off $76k in less than 3 years).

This led to Drew researching budget tools and us using YNAB (You Need a Budget). We set a budget of what we thought was a reasonable amount of money in each category/month (food, spending, entertainment, clothes, bills, etc.) and began tracking everything we spent.

The difference between where we were and where we wanted to end up was easily measurable with this tool. The key was keeping an eye on the end goal and our progress to get there, adjusting the plan to meet the goal if we got off course. Click here to learn more about our strategy.

Where I want to focus today is encouraging you to realize where you are with your finances, determine your end goal, and create an action plan to get there. Make the action plan measurable, and view your progress often. I recommend checking your budget before you spend money, as well as your weekly and monthly progress. Believe me, you can get creative in cutting back the grocery bill if you know you have $50 remaining and a week before the month ends.

So what’s your end goal? Pick something that motivates you. Here’s some of my motivations:

  • Margin for when unexpected expenses arise, for pursuing a dream (like Drew quitting his job to pursue a career change), and to decrease worry over money (remembering, ultimately, God’s in control and my source of peace)
  • Have a savings worth 6 months of living expenses
  • Increase generosity
  • Save for retirement
  • Buy a house with a nice down payment, taking on less interest/debt
  • Pursue investments and other income streams
  • Flexibility

Another take-away from Living Forward, is to create “pull power” with the goals you set. In other words, your goal should be motivating enough to pull you through to the end.

“The lesson is simple. You get what you focus on. What we see ahead impacts the actions we take right now. How we live and lead is directly connected to what we see. What’s important is that the future be enticing enough to stay focused. We call this ‘pull power.’” -Living Forward

If we didn’t have specific goals when we started our debt-free journey, I predict we’d still have about $40k in debt. If we had passively said, “hey, I think debts bad and we should pay off our loans,” we probably would’ve put extra money left over each month towards loans. However, I anticipate it would’ve been about half as much because we’d be thinking in terms of “that’s a nice goal,” but probably not filtering our decisions through it.

What would you need to change to save ___fill in the blank___/month to hit your goal in ___fill in the blank___ time-frame? Remember your end goal often and filter spending habits through this.

Bonus: making sacrifices to pay off debt is typically a choice. Reflect on your end goal for motivation and fight against a “woe is me mindset.”

What’s the future you desire? Would love to hear your goals in the comments!

.Em ❤

 

 

Faith and Financial Resources

Budgeting When You Don’t “Need” to Budget

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Now that our student loans are paid off, I’ve noticed myself get a little more apathetic in how I spend money. It’s a small thing, but this week I purchased organic (aka more expensive) chicken that’s now past the expiration date and spoiled. While it’s “only” $9 wasted, it’s a simple example of poor stewardship. I’ve noticed similar examples over the last year since we’ve loosened up on our budget.

Budgeting when you don't need to budget, blogWith this in mind, today I want to discuss my view on the strategy of budgeting even when you don’t “need” to budget. Perhaps you’re not living paycheck to paycheck, or you like where you sit financially. However, I’m convinced having a vision and plan for your spending along with a budget to track your goals can save tons of money and foster healthy stewardship.

Disclaimer: my emphasis in this post is on the ability to be more generous financially when we follow a budget and pursue stewardship. You can  use these ideas to help meet other financial goals, as well.

Regardless of your financial circumstance, I think it honors God when we seek to steward our resources well. For Christ-followers, we know our home is not on earth. Instead, we’re called to prepare for our eternal Home while we’re here (Mt. 6:19-21).

I believe as Christians we should have a vision for the finances God entrusts to us. If we know there’s numerous ministries, believers, and non-believers in need, what if we budget so we have more left over to give? Or, better yet, what if instead of thinking in terms of “left over,” we intentionally plan our budget to create margin to give more?

Take groceries for example. I know from experience, a simple budget of setting goals for how much you want to spend/month and then tracking your progress can easily save a family of two $60-100/month. Think about how far $60-$100/month could go towards giving.

I love Compassion International’s ministry of sponsoring children and families to release them from poverty in Jesus’ name. Check out the story, below, and some of the options you could support through this ministry alone:

 

“God’s Handiwork”

A joyful announcement turns into near tragedy as a mother grapples with rejection.

When Derebe announced she was pregnant, her husband told her to get an abortion or leave. After all, they could barely support their two sons. But Derebe trusted God to provide. She had no idea at the time that His provision would come in the form of Compassion’s Survival program in Ethiopia. Read full story here.

 

The story above is an incredible example of how our resources can change lives. Because someone was generous, the lives of an entire family were changed both physically and spiritually.

You can easily apply this example to several spending categories. Think about how much is spent on clothes and outward appearance. Decorating a home, the house itself, the car we drive, and on and on. I think it can be unhealthy to spend without a plan and/or discipline, or getting too caught up in what we want or feel pressured to have by our culture.

I think stewardship is having a vision for our money and how else it could be used. We live in a industry where billions of dollars are spent annually to make us spend more. If we don’t have a vision, I can guarantee we’re being taken advantage of and the industry is winning. Agree?

Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy many things I don’t “need,” but I want to be intentional about the root of why and how much I’m spending. Is it to impress someone? Overindulgence? Insecurities? Pride? Or is it really a treat that I’ll enjoy with good motives and a healthy perspective? This looks different for everyone and it’s all about the heart.

I think my main battle is living in America where it’s so unusual to live with these types of thoughts and questions. We need each other to strengthen and encourage one another to live differently. God’s called us to be the Body of Christ for a reason.

For my family, I hope our lives look  different 5, 15, 40 years from now in the way we view God’s resources and our purpose on earth. I hope by God’s grace and the power of the Holy Spirit that we’re so in love with Jesus, and passionate for others to know Him, that we’re continually transformed in the way we steward God’s resources.

Lastly, I hope this post doesn’t point you to legalism, a moral approach that’s more about “I must give or God will be mad at or punish me” mentality. My desire is for us to be so in love with Jesus that we can’t help but want to be more intentional with this life.

Even as I wrote this post I was convicted of my own tendencies towards legalism. It’s easy to get caught up in what I think is good stewardship for myself and others. I constantly need God’s grace and help to renew my mind and heart in this area.

More to come on topics like this, but I hope this is a good reminder on the importance of stewardship and how it can change our lives…and the lives of others.

Please subscribe and let’s partner in this!

Peace and love to you!

Em ❤

 

Faith and Financial Resources

The Secret to Contentment:

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I think we all struggle to be content in general, and in all circumstances. I know I do. When Drew and I were paying off our student loans and living on a tight budget, I fought for contentment and tried not to compare our spending habits and/or possessions to others.

Secret to Contentment pic, blog

While I knew it wasn’t true, it’s almost like in the back of my mind I thought I needed to pursue contentment while our budget was tight but that I’d find it much easier to be content once we had more resources to spend. As if once I had more clothes money, “fun money,” newer furniture, more budget for eating out, etc. contentment would come naturally.

Since paying off our last loan in August 2016, we get to keep roughly $2,500/month rather than put the money towards loans. We’ve increased most of our budget categories and I’ve enjoyed being able to eat out more, “spruce up” my wardrobe, etc.

I’m so grateful our loans are behind us and we have more financial margin, but I wouldn’t say this has changed the need to constantly pursue contentment.

   *Photo Credit*

The past few weeks I’ve been shopping for new clothes. Again, super grateful to have the resources for this, but I’ve found myself getting more excited about other things to buy than appreciating what I was getting. It’s like the outfits I looked forward to buying when we were budgeting have been added to my wardrobe, I’m excited for a moment, and then off to the next thing.

So what’s the point of this post? I think it’s so important to pursue contentment in all seasons. It’s a battle worth fighting in seasons of little and plenty. There will always be more out there to want. Even when Drew and I had a tight budget, we were so fortunate and had all we needed to be content.

What’s the secret of being content? Check out Paul’s approach from Philippians:

“Not that I am speaking of being in need, for I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content. I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need. I can do all things through him who strengthens me.” Philippians 4:11-13

Paul’s speaking to the church in Philippians who’ve given generously to support him being in full time ministry to spread the gospel throughout the world. He truly learned how to be brought low (imprisonments, severe beatings, lacking physical provision, etc.) and still be content.

Talk about a difference between my discontentment of not getting as much Starbucks or that new outfit vs. lacking true needs like Paul. Regardless of the circumstance, he learned how to be content.

I like how “learned” is used twice in these verses because it gives me hope that we can grow in our pursuit of contentment, too.

Paul reveals the secret to contentment in vs. 13 “I can do all things through him who strengthens me.”

We find contentment through fixing our eyes and hearts on Jesus in all circumstances. Personally, when I was in our time of “need” I found my contentment sitting still in prayer and asking God to help me find contentment in all circumstances, to help me resist comparing myself to others and wanting what they had. Now in our time of “plenty,” I’m asking God for the same. I still need His help to find the same peace with little or plenty.

Practically speaking, I remind myself and pray through these truths:

  • Earth is my temporary home; my purpose isn’t to accumulate a bunch of stuff
  • Christ is my true joy, not image or physical appearance
  • Nothing on earth can bring true, lasting contentment, only Christ

It’s amazing the joy and freedom I find when I slow down, think through what’s going on in my heart, and realign to the big picture.

These truths replace negative thoughts and lies I may otherwise be believing.

The best part is, the pressure’s not on me in all of this. The Holy Spirit brings these things to mind and empowers me to replace lies with Truth.

So there you have it: the secret to contentment is Jesus. No circumstance brings true and/or lasting contentment without Him, but contentment and peace can be found in all circumstances through Him. Paul’s story is proof, and this truth helps me renew my mind daily.

Can you relate to any of this? I’d love to hear your thoughts, below!

.Em ❤

Contentment in Consumerism World

Engagement Ring: Pursuing Contentment and Perspective

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Why I Only Wear an Engagement Ring:

Blog-engagement ringMany people think I’m still engaged since I don’t wear (or own) a wedding band. This wasn’t planned, but something I intentionally chose after we got engaged.

Don’t get scared off…keep reading… I promise it’s a balanced perspective. 🙂

History of the Wedding Band and Perspective:

Before Drew proposed, I was learning a lot about margin (time, finances, possessions, etc.) and recently watched Blood Diamond. This is a movie based on true events of laborers in Africa being forced to find diamonds, a tragedy still going on today. I started thinking through the original meaning of a wedding band versus the focus and pressure our culture puts on finding the “perfect” (and often very expensive) ring.

I can picture the first wedding band now. I envision someone tying a piece of thread together or having the goldsmith create a beautiful wedding band out of metal.

Photo Cred: Met Museum of Art for far right image. This is from the 6th and 7th century…glad this didn’t stick!

While I love the meaning of showing the world you’re married, I don’t like how our society has taken the idea and run with it. Making a soon to be groom feel like the weight of his bride’s answer depends on the size of the diamond.

To support my point, check out these interesting facts about wedding bands:

  • The history of a wedding band dates back about 5,000 years ago and were often made from reeds or leather.
  • The tradition of a diamond engagement ring began in the 1400s.
  • Diamond engagement rings weren’t the norm in the US until ~1940 when De Beers created “Diamond is Forever” campaign to push the sale of diamond engagement rings.
  • De Beers is a leading company in the diamond industry (of course!).

I found these interesting facts from With These Rings and Today I Found Out.

Fight Comparison and Pressure:

I love beautiful engagement and wedding rings, I just think we have to mindful of the culture we’re in and to push back against the temptation to get caught up in comparison, spending more than we can afford, and often lusting after something because we feel like we’re “supposed” to have something.

I think it’s helpful to be aware of the original meaning of the wedding band, the purpose of marriage, and push back against the pressure placed on us. We should focus on who we’re marrying and the marriage we aim to build.

What’s Important to You (not other opinions):

I also think it’s good to consider who you are and what’s important to you. For me, my wedding ring is the only piece of real jewelry I wear or desire. My ring is simple, elegant, and I couldn’t imagine a better fit for my taste. I know many women who have a set and just wear their wedding band for the same reason. I don’t like expensive accessories (sunglasses, earrings, etc.) because fear of losing them adds stress. This also matches my general taste and personality. If I’m not working, I’m typically in Toms, jeans, and a v-neck.

On the other hand, I know women who really appreciate diamond earrings and other special pieces. Maybe their ring looks different than mine because it’s something they really appreciate. Some of my favorite women love dressing up and have a greater appreciation for jewelry (and you won’t catch them in Toms 😉 ).

So I’m not saying one size fits all here (no pun intended!), just giving another angle to view this topic through.

Can You Afford It?

And remember, apart from all the preferences, the question of CAN YOU AFFORD IT is key. Maybe you would appreciate something outside of your budget but need to wait until you and your husband can save for it. The wait is worth it! You’ll never hear that at the jewelry counter!

Does the Decision Honor God:

I’m still working through how we make expensive purchases in light of so many needs around us but, as a quick point here, I think we should always pray and ask God for perspective and wisdom in how we spend His resources. What’s the motives in our heart?

That’s a Wrap:

So, why do I only wear the engagement ring as my wedding band? For me, personally, I love the ring Drew gave me and don’t want to change it. He had it made using the diamond from his mom’s engagement ring and had a setting designed especially for me. I truly like it better without the wedding band that would go with it. I know if I got the band it’d only be out of pressure from what you’re “supposed to do” and not something I desire. So, unless it becomes something important to me and/or Drew (and assuming we could afford it), I love the ring pictured above.
I hope my story provides a different angle than what we’re constantly hearing around us. The point isn’t to avoid having a nice ring set, but to just ask important questions that bring perspective. What’s the meaning of a wedding band? Are you being a good steward of the resources God’s given you? Are we caught up in comparison and pressure of others and/or our culture? Who are you and what’s important to you?

I hope this post encourages you wherever you are in your “ring journey,” today! This concept can be applied to so many other things, as well.

…and I didn’t even get going on the wedding industry…I’ll save that for another post 😉

xoxoxo

.Em